elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
