Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
