Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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