I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
a search helicopter?!
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
