Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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