Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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