i may or may not be watching the land before time
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
