i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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