I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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