based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
