i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
