i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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