halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
