I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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