I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
