..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
