So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
