high people should be assigned attendants
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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