bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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