i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at about main and main street
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize