we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son