i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
