I think I died a long time ago.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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