Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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