Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize