My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
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