i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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