Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.