We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
If I die, sorry about rent.