Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...