if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.