I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
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I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
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Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.