this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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