I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
