A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
