Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
