i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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