just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
