Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
