So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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