I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Randomize
