your room smells of hookers.
And success
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize