never play flip cup with pint glasses
i just had sex bonerless
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
