Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
