id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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