Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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