As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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