Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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