How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
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Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
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Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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