he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
