Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
So vagazzling was a success
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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