All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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