Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
