His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
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I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
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You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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