why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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