A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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