you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
