you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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