I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
