Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
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Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
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Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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