okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
