i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
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Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize