We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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