is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
