watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
