they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
