i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
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if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
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and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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