I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize