remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I think I have vodka in my lungs
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
